


My Heart Isn't Lying

by Luvplush_3



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Cheating, Comfort/Angst, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Heartbreak, Heartbreaking, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, M/M, Secrets, Surprises
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-03
Updated: 2016-12-03
Packaged: 2018-09-06 05:33:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,610
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8736772
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Luvplush_3/pseuds/Luvplush_3
Summary: Someone cheated. Someone suffers. Now they’re both left unsure if they should keep fighting for their lover’s heart. orKageyama jumps to conclusions and Hinata is left doubting everything they built in four years.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Hey there! This is my first work, and basically I am just testing the waters. I'd love to hear what you think. I hope you can read pass the errors and enjoy the story as much as I did! I hope to hear from some readers soon! ENJOY! :)
> 
> P.S. I watched Haikyuu for the third time and fell in love all over again.
> 
> All rights for this work reserved. I do not own Haikyuu!! or the characters used.

From what he could recall, life always sucked for Kageyama ever since he was in middle school. He was always that awkward kid in social activities and no one ever tried to be his friend outside of school. It wasn’t until after he went to high school and met a small person full of energy who would’ve looked past his awkwardness and get to know the real him.

  
Kageyama needed some time to think about everything that has been happening recently. He noticed the change two weeks ago, but he never thought much of it then. Hinata started staying out later than usual and every time he asked why, he always got the same reply; Practice with Natsu ran late. Kageyama clicks his tongue realizing how stupid he has been. Although Hinata has been helping his sister with her spikes, she was never the type to stay past practice hours. Kageyama thinks back to their conversation that day Natsu asked to meet him for lunch.

  
_“How do you feel about your spikes now with the extra practice you’ve been getting in?” Kageyama asked thoughtfully remembering how hard her brother has been working to help her._

  
_Natsu watched him with a look of confusion that gave Kageyama this uneasy feeling in his stomach. Before he can clarify, she spoke and her reply only made him feel like someone just punched him in the gut. “Extra practice? Hinata keeps bailing on me, and the times he actually shows up, he seems to be distracted. I asked you to meet me because I wanted to see if everything is okay with you and my brother,” she finishes with furrowed brows expressing her concern._

  
_He lied. Kageyama doesn’t reply, but so many questions kept running through his mind about Hinata’s whereabouts now._  
_Is everything okay with us?_

  
Kageyama couldn’t help but think back to how he spent that whole day trying to think of reasons why Hinata would feel the need to lie to him and no matter how hard he tried, none of his conclusions were good. He was miserable all afternoon, and that pissed him the fuck off. “Dumbass Hinata,” he mumbled to himself. He’s just sitting in a nearby park watching all of the happy couples pass him like he was invisible. Is that how he and Hinata looked before this mess? He felt his stomach churning in memory of their argument from that night Kageyama learned the truth.

  
_“Are you fucking serious right now?”_

  
_Kageyama was livid after hearing Hinata’s response about how his practice was going with his sister. His boyfriend only stared at him like he was questioning why he would ask that. Hinata only said it went okay, but what he didn’t know is that Natsu already told Kageyama that he cancelled practice for the whole week._

  
_“Tobio, wh-” was all Hinata got out before being interrupted._

  
_“Don’t lie to me. I spoke to your sister and she already said you don’t practice that much with her like you claim to. Where have you been Hinata.” Kageyama growled. He felt his heart breaking, but he was not about to break down crying; especially since he was more pissed than sad at the stupid man in front of him._

  
_Hinata stayed silent. A flash of panic covered his face as he started fidgeting with the zipper on his jacket and looked everywhere in their apartment except to the angry man in front of him. After a couple seconds of silence filled with tension, he finally whispered looking down at his feet, “It doesn’t matter.” He didn’t want to say it, but the last thing he needed was for Kageyama to know what he was doing so late at night. He didn’t want to do it anymore; he ended things a while ago._

  
_That was all it took for Kageyama to walk out before saying or doing anything he may regret later. To him, that was a verbal slap to his face, he just needed to get away._

“Ugh” Kageyama grunts in frustration as he buries his face in his hands. He doesn’t want to think about that dumb ass right now, but he can’t help himself. He’s known Hinata since freshman year at Karasuno, but they didn’t start dating until after graduation when he awkwardly confessed his love for the shorter boy. Ever since then, they were inseparable. A year later, they moved in together and shared everything with each other; a bed, a bathroom, sleepless nights, sweet memories, everything. Nearly four years later and it was always theirs.

_Kageyama spent three hours walking the street as an attempt to clear his head from what just happened. **It doesn’t matter.**_

  
_Tch. He can’t believe that was Hinata’s reply. How could he not be pissed at that man? He knew if the tables were turned, Hinata would have been just as worried and hurt as he was. Kageyama’s phone interrupted his thoughts, but his anger boiled again when he saw the name “Shouyou <3” on the screen. He doesn’t want to talk to him; not right now. He decided to let it go to voicemail, but almost immediately after it started ringing again. Six missed calls later and the man kept calling. If he didn’t answer the phone soon he knew Hinata would keep calling, so he let out a frustrated breath before finally giving in._

  
_“…”_

  
_“To-Tobio?” Hinata asked hesitantly as if he wasn’t expecting him to answer the phone._

  
_“What do you want?” Kageyama finally spoke, each word laced with venom._

  
_There was shuffling on the other end before his lover answers again. “I- I want you to come home. It’s getting late and you just walked out without saying where you were going.”_

  
_Kageyama bitterly chuckles at the request. Here he is just trying to calm his nerves after that bull shit reply Hinata gave him about being who-knows-where when he was caught in his lie, but wants Kageyama to come home because he didn’t say where he was going. That just pissed him off more, but before he can say anything, he heard the shorter man’s voice again. “Where are you, Kageyama?”_

  
_Before he can even think about what he was doing he said “it doesn’t matter,” and just hanged up. He felt a sting of regret hit his chest, but he didn’t care at that moment. He just wanted Hinata to feel bad._

  
Kageyama checked his watch and saw that it was now five o’clock in the evening. He’s been sitting here for the past hour thinking about the man he was about to cheat on. Kageyama was needy and his relationship was going through a rough patch. He wanted to feel wanted again. He recently reconnected with one of his old “friends” from high school and he offered to fill that void that was missing inside of him. He know it’s wrong, but he’s still a man with needs and reluctantly agreed to meet up at their usual spot. Bzz. Bzz. His phone vibrates in his pocket.

  
5:09pm  
Shouyou  <3: “Don’t forget we changed our reservations to 6:30p tonight. I’ll catch the bus and meet you there. I Love you.”

Kageyama just stares at the message. Those three little words had the power to make him feel guilty about what he planned on doing right before they meet up for dinner. If that wasn’t bad enough, the dinner was in celebration of their four year anniversary. Kageyama accused Hinata of cheating, and he never denied it. Ever since the accusation, he couldn’t think straight anymore. He kept seeing his lover giving other men blowjobs and thrusting themselves into his sweet spot; it was enough to make him sick. If Hinata was going to step out and not say anything, then so was Kageyama. He knew it was wrong, but he couldn’t stop thinking if everything out of his lover’s mouth was now a lie. He stopped telling Hinata he loves him. Not because it wasn’t true, but he was too scared to have his heart broken.

  
He was still in love with Hinata. He knew no matter how hard he tried, he will never get rid of those feelings he’s always had. _Then what’s the point in this_ , he thought to himself realizing this was a mistake. Just as he was getting up to leave, someone slowly wrapped their arms around him and seductively whispered in his ear, “I hope you’re ready for what I have planned,” before putting a hickey on his neck. Kageyama couldn’t help but lean into the taller man’s embrace as he sucked hard on his skin. It was then he realized he hasn’t had any sex since that argument weeks ago. This felt so right. All he wanted was to get lost in this man, not Hinata. Hungry for more, Kageyama pulled himself free and turned to face the man hovering over him. “I want you now,” was the only thing he said in a demanding voice before pressing his lips against the other man’s. It was in that moment, he felt a pang in his chest; a feeling that was too familiar to him ever since he learned the truth.

  
_Hinata sat at their dining table waiting when Kageyama finally came home. He looked up at the clock and saw it was 2am already, and couldn’t help but wonder what he did when he left that had him out for five hours. When Kageyama turned his head to meet his eyes, he knew his face was still red and looked down to hide his puffy eyes and runny nose._

  
_He’s been crying since Kageyama hanged up the phone on him. He understands why his boyfriend is angry with him, but instead of them trying to talk about it he just walked out. He knew he shouldn’t have lied, but he wasn’t ready to tell him the truth yet; He wasn’t ready. He looks up again to still see Kageyama in their doorway with a look of concern, but it only lasted a second before his expression darkened. He didn’t say anything and just proceeded to their bedroom._

  
_Wanting to talk about earlier, Hinata follows him and takes a seat at the end of the bed while Kageyama walked towards the closet, “Can we talk?”_

  
_Silence. Kageyama doesn’t even acknowledge Hinata’s presence and starts stripping to take a shower._

  
_The silence was louder than it seemed. The fact that he didn’t say anything made Hinata feel like something in his stomach was about to come up. He held back his tears that were threatening to fall as he tried again. “Kageyama. I don’t want to fight with you. I know I lied, but –”_

  
_Hinata didn’t even get to finish his sentence when he heard the loud slam from the bathroom door. He just stared in shock at the door as if he was waiting for Kageyama to come back out for them to talk. Once he heard the water from the shower start to run, he knew it was a lost cause in trying to talk about their earlier argument. As the tears spilled from his eyes, Hinata pulled the cover over him and curled up to himself. He silently cried himself to sleep hoping things would be better in the morning._

  
_When Kageyama came out of the shower, he knew Hinata would still be in the bedroom but figured he would catch on that he doesn’t want to talk about earlier. Just in case he didn’t, the taller man braced himself for whatever was coming once he opened the door. He was at a loss for words when he saw Hinata curled up into their bed with a tear-streaked face._

 _The sight pulled at the strings of his heart and he began to reach for his lover. “It doesn’t matter” was all he heard before dropping his hand to his side and left the room they once shared to sleep in the guest bedroom._  
_The next day came and Hinata woke up to an empty space next to him. Before, he always had to wrestle with Kageyama’s sleeping frame to let him go to get their breakfast ready before they left for work. He felt a sting in his heart when he realized that this may not be the end of their fight. He already decided to make his boyfriend’s favorite breakfast dish as an act of saying sorry, but knowing Kageyama for so long made him believe it may be a long shot._

  
_As he was resting their plates on the table, Kageyama walked in to the kitchen but stopped when he saw what was in front of him. He looked like he barely got any sleep, but Hinata wasn’t one to comment on it. His eyes were still puffy from all the crying he did last night. Hinata smiled brightly and broke the silence, “I made your favorite today! I was hoping we can talk about...last night.”_

  
_The tall man just glared at the table before dismissing the breakfast. “I’m running late, so no” was all he said before he poured himself a cup of coffee. Another sting to Hinata’s heart that makes him feel like crying again. Instead, he pushes the tears back and tried to keep his voice calm. He didn’t want to fight so early in the morning, so he dug his nails into the palm of his hands before speaking. “Why are you doing this Tobio? We both know you don’t have to leave for work for the next hour.”_

  
_Kageyama opens his mouth like he was about to say something but just huffs and looks away. When Hinata saw he wasn’t going to reply, he decided to ask a next question that’s been bugging him since he woke up. “Why didn’t you sleep in our bed last night?” His voice was barely above a whisper, but he knew his lover could’ve hear him._

  
_The question caught Kageyama by surprise as he blinks a few times before glaring back at Hinata. He didn’t care how hurt the man may have looked, he wasn’t ready to let the shit go. “Simple, I didn’t feel like sleeping next to a liar.” He saw his lover’s shoulders drop with a frown, but he was unable to give two shits right about now._

  
_Hinata was hurt by his choice of words, but it only lasted a few seconds before he started to get angry too. He’s being so unfair in Hinata’s eyes. It was just a harmless lie. “You’re making this whole thing into a mess. I don’t understand why we just can’t’ talk about it,” he says through gritted teeth._

  
_“There’s nothing to talk about” was Kageyama’s only reply which made Hinata angrier. It was starting to frustrate him because they never got into fights, and the times that they did they would make up almost immediately after. He wants to make up already, but Kageyama isn’t trying to bury whatever the problem is._

  
_“Shit Kageyama! So I lied about my whereabouts, why can’t you just get over it! It’s not that big of a deal like you’re making it! I—” Hinata yells as his blood boils, but gets cut off once again._

  
_Kageyama starts to feel that anger that he tried to hide return as he smashed the cup of coffee on the counter, sending the liquid and broken pieces flying everywhere. “Don’t tell me it’s not a big deal that you lied for a whole week about your whereabouts! You watched me in my face every night and lied like it was nothing!” He started approaching Hinata, and before any of them can realize, Kageyama had already grabbed him by the shirt and had him pinned up against the wall. “It shows how little you respect me and our relationship! So why shouldn’t I be angry with you!? For all I know you’ve been sleeping with someone else!” Hearing the words out loud only makes it worse. Hinata couldn’t hear anything anymore, he winced and fought against his lover’s tight hold on his shirt. When he looks at Kageyama’s eyes, there’s no warmth in them like usual; it’s cold and dark. It’s as though he didn’t even recognize the man in front of him. “That’s the only explanation I can think of for your lies and coming home late, Shouyou! How can I not be pissed that I spent hours trying to find a reason only to come up with the same conclusion!”_

  
_Hinata doesn’t realize he’s crying until he tastes the salty tears on his lips. He doesn’t know how to react to what is going on. He knows Kageyama would never hit him, but it was still frightening since he didn’t think his lover would be this angry. They’ve both roughed up the other plenty of times in the past, but this anger was way darker than any other time he’s seen Kageyama with their other arguments. Finally, the grip on his shirt loosen and unable to move his legs, he quietly slid down to the ground in complete shock. **What have I done?**_

  
_Kageyama didn’t know why he reacted so violently, but when he saw the tears spill from Hinata’s eyes, he knew he was going to regret what he did. He didn’t mean to scare him, he just blacked out from the rage. It’s like he couldn’t control his body anymore. Shocked at his own reaction, he let go of Hinata’s shirt and watch as the other man fall to the ground and start to cry more. He kneeled down and reached to embrace him, but his hand was smacked away as Hinata just stared at the floor letting the tears fall. The room was immediately filled with silence except for soft sobs._

_After that day, they both just acted like nothing happened. They ate together, Hinata stopped coming home late, and slept in the same bed like before. The tension was still thick as before. When Kageyama climbed in their bed, it wasn’t the same. Hinata never looked at him, kissed him Good night, or cuddled up next to him like before. The one time Kageyama tried to cuddle, Hinata pushed him away. Kageyama decided then to stay on his side and that was the last time they touched._

  
Hinata was already at the restaurant they were meeting at for their anniversary hoping after tonight everything would make sense. He couldn’t stop himself from grinning when he saw Kageyama walking up to him with a glare. He’s seen more than enough of his glares to tell when he was angry or just relaxed, but this one seemed off. When he comes closer, Hinata notices that his boyfriend doesn’t look him in the face and just buries his neck into a scarf he’s never see before.

  
“You didn’t have that scarf on this morning,” He says matter-of-factly and stares at it for a minute before smiling and complimenting Kageyama, “I like it on you.” He smiles brightly until he sees a flash of a sad expression on Kageyama’s face. As he was going to question what’s wrong, the taller man grabs him by the wrist and proceeds to the door saying, “Let’s eat.”

  
When their waiter left to put in their orders, Hinata couldn’t stop grinning at Kageyama as he rested a neatly wrapped box with a bow in between them and says, “Happy Anniversary, Tobio”

  
Kageyama stared at the box like it was a ticking time bomb unsure if he should pick it up or not. He gave in and started shaking it before Hinata complain saying he’ll break whatever is inside. He stares at the bright eyed man in front of him and he felt pain in his chest. He unwraps the gift and pulls out a poorly done wine glass from pottery clay. It was painted black and orange with the number 4 on the bottom and their initials. Before he can ask what it was he heard Hinata’s voice chime in.

  
“I knew we agreed on not buying anything for this year’s anniversary, but I still wanted to get you something, so I forced Kenma to teach me how to make something we can use. That’s why I was out so late a few weeks ago since that was the only time he was free” Hinata says as he looks down and starts playing with his thumbs with pink cheeks. “I didn’t want tell you so I can surprise you. I’m sorry, but I—” Hinata chokes when he looks up and see tears roll down Kageyama cheeks. He didn’t know what was wrong, but those tears weren’t happy tears and he felt like a lump was in his throat. Part of him couldn’t help but look at the new scarf tightly wrapped around his lover’s neck and wonder if he’s hiding something underneath there that can explain the reason for his tears. “Tobio?”

  
Kageyama chokes on his next words. “I’m sorry, Shouyou.” He looks up to find an expressionless Hinata staring at his scarf. He immediately was filled with regret for what happened earlier. “It was a mistake. I don’t deserve you.” He couldn’t even look Hinata in the face anymore.

  
Those words made Hinata feel sick to his stomach. _He didn’t._ “Take off the scarf.” Kageyama froze and subconsciously put his hand on his neck as if he did have something to hide. He knew if he removed that scarf, there was no way he would be forgiven. He felt like an asshole after what he did just to find out the late nights was to make a gift for him on their anniversary. He tries to control his sobs as the tears continue to fall and he shake his head, “I-I didn’t kn- know th—”

  
“Take off the fucking scarf Tobio!” Hinata repeated forcefully now with a shaky voice as though he already knew what was underneath the black scarf.

  
Letting out a shaky breath unable to control the tears, Kageyama slowly removes the scarf and exposes a purple looking bruise on his neck. He watches Hinata’s face drop as he stared at the hickey. He didn’t look hurt, just broken and numb. His reaction would suggest that he already knew it was there and just wanted to confirm the suspicion. “Shou—”

 

“I want to go home,” was all Hinata said before getting up from their table and heading towards the door. He didn’t watch Kageyama or even direct the words to him, but he heard him get up as well and apologize to the waiter for the inconvenience. This was breaking Hinata’s heart. He never thought the man he gave his heart to would be so careless with the fragile organ. He clutched his hand to his chest as an attempt to stop the pain he was feeling. It wasn’t until he was alone in the parking lot did he start to feel the tears well up.

  
“Shouyou! I’m sorry,” He heard Kageyama running towards him but he didn’t care. He began to cry and aggressively rubbed his arm over his face to clean the snot and tears present as he kept walking in the parking lot looking for their car. He felt a pair of hands grab him to spin him into a hug while he cried and wailed. It took him a minute to stop fighting the arms that were wrapped tightly around his small frame. When he finally gave up he heard the familiar voice shaking as a whisper in his ear, “I’m so sorry. I didn’t know. I was angry and hurt still,” Kageyama explains but didn’t get to continue.

  
“So that gave you the right to cheat on me with someone else?!” Hinata screams as he continues crying into his boyfriend’s shirt. Kageyama didn’t answer, but tightened his embrace as a way to say he’s sorry while he’s comforting the shorter man. He can physically feel the weight on his shoulders and in his heart; it was weighing down his whole body.

  
They stood there for half an hour as Hinata kept crying into the taller man. Kageyama didn’t say anything; just kept holding on to the man as though if he let go, he would be gone forever. The orange hair tickled Kageyama’s face as he rested his chin on Hinata’s head. He had no right to hold Hinata anymore; he knew he forfeited all rights to his heart, but he was always a selfish partner. As long as he can, he will hold the other man in his arms until he was no longer wanted.

  
Hinata knew he should be mad at his lover, but he had no one else to comfort him. Sure, he could’ve gone home to his mother and sister, but he didn’t want to leave just yet. Kageyama was always there to comfort him in his lowest moments, but this was different. He was at his most broken state because of the same man who was supposed to help him forget about the bad things in his life. He didn’t care if people was staring, he couldn’t control how he was feeling now. Their relationship has basically been ruined. The love of his life gave someone else permission to touch him the way only he should’ve been allowed to. An image of a next man making love to Kageyama flashed into his mind and he forced his body out of his lover’s embrace and pushed himself away. He looked up and saw that he covered the love bite with the scarf again, but he didn’t feel any better. He saw a pained expression on Kageyama’s face, but he knew he couldn’t do anything to comfort him; not when he was feeling betrayed and hurt. Instead he said what was on his mind between his sobs. “H-how am I… su-sup-pose to forgive you…for this?” he didn’t care that he sounded weak, but the next words came out easier than he expected as he looked up into the taller man’s eyes. “You allowed someone else to put their lips on you,” Hearing those words made Kageyama bow his head in shame, “You’re not just mine anymore! You promised as long as you’re in love with me, I have nothing to worry about yet you jumped into bed with someone else! When did you stop loving me?” Hinata whispered the last part which brought him more tears.

  
Kageyama was silently crying, but snapped his head up in panic after hearing the last question. “No! Shouyou I’m still in love with you, I could never stop—”

  
“Then why did you break that promise!? Why did you cheat on me on our anniversary!” he shouts, cutting off the other man.

  
Kageyama winced at how loud Hinata screamed at him. He felt like absolute shit. At first he thought he would be satisfied if he just cheated on his lover, but he felt guilty even before the man showed up. He felt so terrible, that he actually didn’t go through with his plan. He needs to tell Hinata, but he know it still doesn’t change anything. Hinata was right, he broke his promise to the one man that loved him unconditionally and all he did in return was get seduced from another man from his past. He knew it wouldn’t justify what happened, but Kageyama spoke again hoping his words can bring Hinata some type of comfort, “I didn’t have sex with him, Shouyou. I realized I couldn’t go through with it because I love you.” He searches the shorter man for an expression of hope, but there was nothing. He knew then that he may never get to share anything with Hinata ever again. No more laughs. No more Good Morning Kisses. No more nights cuddled up watching movies. Nothing.

  
It’s been a month since their anniversary, and Kageyama has been miserable the whole time. He is not sure if they officially broke up, but since he didn’t hear the words, he kept holding on to the little piece of hope he had left. They still lived together since their apartment was a two bed room and bathroom, but he barely saw or talk to Hinata anymore. Kageyama tried for days to get Hinata to talk to him, but the only response he got was curt nods and single word answers. Could you blame him? He knew his boyfriend was still hurting, but he didn’t know how to fix it. Just then, Kageyama considered Kuroo’s advice.

  
_Three weeks later and still Hinata refused to speak to Kageyama. He always avoided him every chance he got. Kageyama lets out a breath thinking about how his relationship had hit rock bottom. Honestly, he doesn’t even know if it’s a relationship anymore. They don’t talk, but they still eat together and sometimes watch movies. **But it’s not the same**. They don’t tell each other about their days while they stuff their face. Instead, all you hear in the kitchen is their metal utensils hit against the plate as they avoid eye contact with each other. The nights they watch movies, they aren’t cuddled up; they’re on separate furniture and never look away from the screen. Even the funny scenes aren’t good enough to lighten the mood._

  
_“Earth to Kageyama..” a familiar voice interrupted the man’s thoughts. He looked up to find his friend Kuroo with his annoyingly lazy smirk plastered on his face. “I see things still aren’t good between you and Hinata.” he points out after examining his friend’s appearance. The younger man looked like he haven’t slept in days with the dark bags under his eyes and hair that was sticking out in all directions._

  
_Kageyama doesn’t reply. He ignores the black haired man, and goes back to thinking about Hinata. Well that’s what he tried to do._

  
_“Ohoh, you don’t feel like talking after you made me leave work early?”_

  
_Kageyama always thought Kuroo was annoying, but he had no one else to talk to about his relationship. He didn’t even want to tell the man in front of him, but he knew that Hinata already told Kenma, and Kuroo was always nosey so he was probably there listening too. Kageyama rolls his eyes and takes a deep breath to get his thoughts together to talk about what he called his friend for._

 _“_ _You want help with whatever is left of your relationship.”_

_The statement surprised Kageyama, so he sat there frozen before he could realize he was holding his breath. He can’t lie, that is what he wanted. He just didn’t know how to ask without sounding so pathetic. Kageyama glares and curses himself for being so weak._

_“It’s okay Kageyama. It’s nothing to hate yourself for.” Kuroo says as though he could read what was going on in his friend’s head._

_“How did you get Kenma to forgive you?” Kageyama asked desperately. He knew the topic was very touchy for Kuroo and regretted bringing it up once he saw how stiff the man’s shoulders got immediately. He always knew how to make people uncomfortable. He began to apologize, but was cut off by Kuroo's next words._

_“Never gave up,” he shrugged and grinned sheepishly at Kageyama. He didn’t know what he was saying, so he just stood there blinking at him as though he was patiently waiting for the man to continue. Kuroo sighed and rested his hand on the shorter man’s shoulder, “You have to be patient with him. He can’t just act like it didn’t happen, but for whatever it’s worth, he hasn’t given up on you.”_

_“_ _H-how do you know?” he stutters as his heart flutters in his chest at the words of hope._

  
_Kuroo smiled lazily before patting his back, “He’s still living with you isn’t he? Show him that you aren’t giving up either.”_

  
Tch. Kageyama rolls over on his belly to see the time was past six in the evening. He knew Hinata was home because he heard the TV in the living room, but he didn’t want to go out to be ignored.  _Never gave up._  He could hear his friends words in his head as though they were words of encouragement to get off his ass. “Stupid Kuroo,” he mumbles before pulling himself together and make his way to the living room.

  
Hinata was curled up on their loveseat, as he hugged the pillow in his arms. He always had it when he was watching movies and going sleep now because it still had the scent of a certain someone he missed. He’s been longing to touch Kageyama, but his brain screamed louder than his heart. He spent the first week after their argument, staying up late and bawling his eyes out. He missed the warm lips that pressed on his in the morning and evening. Everything between them now is just... awkward. His thoughts are interrupted when he hears the guest bedroom door open and stopped paying attention to the movie immediately. For the past week, he noticed Kageyama doing small things like making him tea when he gets home or going grocery shopping; what Hinata didn’t understand is why the sudden change? He didn’t care though; he liked the small gestures, even if they meant nothing to his partner. He kept his eyes to the screen when he saw Kageyama walk in and takes a seat next to him, but doesn’t say anything. He’s just… staring?

  
The longest minute of Hinata’s life went by and he is still being stared at. He curiously shifts his eyes to the right as an attempt to see what the man next to him was up to, but they both looked into each other’s eyes for a few seconds until Hinata breaks the contact and buries his face into the pillow to hide his rosy pink cheeks visible now. He thought he saw a look of admiration on Kageyama’s face, but he isn’t even sure anymore. The man caught his attention again when he sighs and finally spoke. “Can I take you somewhere?”

  
They drove for thirty minutes to the first place Kageyama told him he was in love with him. This was the only place in their hometown that still gave the older man butterflies. As they got out of the car, Hinata couldn’t help, but reminisce at the sweetest memory he had of them both.

  
_They silently walked next to each other to the park they usually practiced in for volleyball club. It was a comfortable silence, but it seemed like something heavy was in the air that Hinata could feel. He looked up to Kageyama with a soft smile on his face when they reached a bench and took a seat. “What’s wrong with you?”_

  
_Kageyama was unsure what he meant, but he realized he was glaring when he felt a thumb press against his forehead to relax his muscles. Embarrassed, he looked away from the other boy realizing he was probably too deep in his thoughts again. There was something he needed to ask Hinata, but he wasn’t sure how. “Hinata. What are you going to do now?”_

  
_They graduated yesterday, but they never talked about their future with one another before and Kageyama wanted to know if he was wasting his time now. Hinata looked up to the tree above them and just smiled brightly like he was ready for what was coming next in his life. “Well, I decided to stay home and help my mom with Natsu, so I plan on taking classes at the community college here and get a job helping kids with volleyball.”_

  
_So he is staying home after all. Kageyama didn’t know, but he was holding his breath as he waited for Hinata’s reply. He knew he and Hinata got the same offers to schools away from home, but his mother is sick and had to turn them down to stay close to her. So there is hope for them after all. He began to smile to himself thanks to his epiphany. Okay, now all he have to do is ask him out on a date._

  
_“What about you?” Hinata asked looking up at the taller boy with wide brown eyes that seemed brighter than usual._

  
_“Uhh, I got accepted to the University here. I’ll be commuting, so that I can take care of my mom.” He chuckles nervously rubbing the back of his neck, like he didn’t know if that was good news to the other boy._  
_Hinata didn’t show any expressions on his face while he stared up at Kageyama. That made the taller boy semi-panic and jump to conclusions. He started cursing himself thinking that the boy didn’t care if he was here or not, but the loud outbursts made him seize his mental battle. “We get to play more volleyball together!”_

  
_It wasn’t quite what Kageyama wanted to hear from the energetic boy, but he was still glad to see the reaction was better than he thought. They stayed on the bench and just laughed about their first year and all of the bickering they did when they first met._

  
_The sun was finally setting and shined a gorgeous bright yellow and orange glow in the park. When Kageyama looked over to see Hinata mesmerized by the sunset, the only thing he could’ve think then was how beautiful he looked. Before he knew what he was doing, he leaned towards Hinata and buried his face into the boy’s neck before whispering “I love you.” The smaller boy’s body went stiff and Kageyama realized what he just did. Flushed with embarrassment now, he kept his face buried as he cursed himself for his stupidity. Shit!_

  
_Hinata didn’t say anything for five minutes now, and Kageyama knew the awkward silence meant he probably didn’t feel that way about him. Probably he’s not into men like he thought in the first place. Accepting that the feelings were one-sided, he began to remove his face when he felt a hand rest gently on his cheek to stare into eyes that shined a deep brown in the moment. Hinata was smiling; it was soft, it was relaxed. He looked like he was at peace after hearing the confession. “Finally” was all he said before pressing his lips against Kageyama’s. They shared their first kiss together and it was full of passion, urgency, and love. It was the beginning of their lives as one._

  
“Shouyou?” Hinata heard his name being called and felt a tear roll down his cheek from the memory. He quickly wiped it away and look up to find a worried look on Kageyama’s face, but he doesn’t say anything; it looked like he understood why he was crying. But did he? Hinata had everything he ever wanted: he had love, a great job coaching kids, and best friends that supported him. He got all of that after one special day in the park four years ago. He feels the strings in his heart pull as he felt the hot tears roll down his cheeks. Why did he have to go through this pain alone? Why did he have to doubt Kageyama’s love now? He didn’t even try to hide his tears and looked around the park. It didn’t change one bit since the last time they’ve been here. Before he knew it, Kageyama laced their fingers together and led him to the same bench they sat on in the past.

  
When they sat down, he only remembered the memory again and silently cried in his misery. _Why did he bring me here? Can’t he see this is only making things worse?_ Hinata thought to himself as he looked down in his lap; letting the tears spill. His sobs were the only thing he could’ve heard until Kageyama spoke.

  
“Y’know, I still remember the first time I realized I was in love with you,” Kageyama looked down at Hinata with his head leaned back a little. It was the one story he didn’t tell the man next to him. Not because it was bad, but he just didn’t like the feeling he had then. “It was after we fought. I felt like shit seeing you cry on your way home. I felt real pain in my chest because the reason for your tears had something to do with me. I wanted to text you that same night; apologize for being a dumbass, but my ego got the best of me so instead I told myself I was correct,” he nervously chuckled. “As the days went by and we ignored each other, I noticed I couldn’t focus on anything anymore. You were always on my mind and all I wanted to do was comfort you, but not just as your friend” he smirked as he looked down again to see Hinata look away with pink cheeks and began to chew on his lip. At least his tears stopped. “I wanted to tell you when we started talking again, but I was a coward and just thought if I ignored the feelings they would just go away. Look at how wrong I was.” He softly smiled and earned himself a small chuckle from the love of his life.

  
Hinata didn’t know why, but hearing Kageyama tell him the story behind his love made him feel... happy? No, probably calm. He couldn’t pinpoint the feeling but he was grateful that Kageyama was still trying to comfort him. His thoughts were interrupted by Kageyama, “If anyone was to tell me back then that we would’ve been in a relationship, I would’ve thought they were stupid. We’re so different; you’re always happy and looking for the best in people and I’m just this scary guy who comes off as an ass all the time. I always thought you deserved better than me,” Kageyama paused to stick his hand in his pocket and look down at Hinata. “Before my mom passed away, she told me that she was happy I found you. She said that in every relationship, everyone is tested and many people don’t listen to their heart just their brain and that was the quickest way to lose the love of your life. She always warned me that my stubbornness would be the downfall in my life.” Kageyama felt the tears run down his cheek, but he didn’t try to stop them. He just buried his face into his palms before he continue. Hinata felt the need to comfort him and didn’t think twice before scooting closer and wrapping his arms around his waist as he kept listening to the muffled words, “I didn’t mean to ruin us, Shouyou. Our love may not have been perfect to others, but it was perfect to me. I really am sorry for everything I put you through.”

  
Hinata began crying himself as he listened to Kageyama’s apology. He was still in love with the man, but he didn’t know how he could recover from what they went through. Kageyama sat up straight which forced his small lover to let go of him, but he needed to be a man and continue. “I don’t know if you could ever fully forgive me, but I would hate myself if I never tried,” he said sticking his hands back in his pocket before looking down at his shoes. “I know I broke your trust, but I want you to give me a second chance; give _us_ a second chance. I thought I knew what my mother meant when she told me that, but I was wrong. Shouyou,” Kageyama calls Hinata’s name as he pulled out a small box from his pocket and got up to stand directly in front of Hinata before kneeling down.

  
Hinata’s heart beat began to increase wildly as he watched the man in front of him on one knee. In this moment, he couldn’t hear anything anymore as he began to panic. He felt a hand engulf his to get back his attention as he looked into Kageyama’s pleading eyes. “This is me listening to my heart. I know my heart isn’t lying to me when it skips a beat every time I see you; or hurts when I see you cry. You are the only man I will ever truly love, Shouyou. So please, if there is even the slightest chance of us fixing things, please say you’ll marry me someday.” Kageyama finishes as he opens the box to reveal a shiny gold band that lit up under the moonlight. He was at a loss of words. The tears surely was spilling as he watched Kageyama in shock at his proposal. The man on his knee never looked away, just waited patiently like he knew Hinata was fighting a battle on the inside.

  
Both of them were shedding tears now, but they didn’t care. They’ve seen each other through so much pain. They never acted like they were perfect, but Kageyama was right. They were perfect with each other; for each other. So why don’t Hinata just say yes already. _What if he hurts me again?_ His heart was beating hard against his chest as if it was speaking to him. _That is what it means to be in love. Love and pain comes hand in hand, you just have to decide if the one you love is worth it._ But he didn’t know anymore. Was Kageyama worth it? After a few more seconds of contemplating, Hinata heard a voice in his head again. _There’s your answer._

  
Hinata looked into Kageyama’s eyes as the tears seized and he laughed a shaky breath. “Of course I will Dumbass.”

**Author's Note:**

> HEY! HEY! HEY! I hope you enjoyed! Thanks for reading! :) <3
> 
> Until next time,  
> Luvplush_3


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